A Cup of Tea – part of good EMDR therapy

August 1, 2020

Life is hard.

Many feel as if they are dissolving.  It seems as though taking good care of ourselves, and our relationships is too hard.  Even being with the ones we love most of all is at times boring and a struggle.

Getting a conversation started is confusing and cumbersome: How are you?  Well, the same. What’s new?  Nothing.

We don’t know what to say, and after a few awkward attempts, we give up, thinking there is nothing to say; except, we can often complain, and after a point, that wears everyone out.

Yet being with each other, in a safe way, is vital.  We need each other.

Perhaps these suggestions, will help.

Make a cup of tea, and drink it together, whether you are with each other or on a Zoom call; sit in silence for a bit, and know you may feel awkward, and it is okay.

Each of us is infinite, and sitting and being curious allows for some of your out of the ordinary ideas to surface.  Talk about them.

Try new conversation starters: tell me if you’ve seen any birds today?  What were they doing?  Have you read anything lately?  What did you read?  What did you like/dislike about it?  Or what did you notice you thought about?

Sit in mindfulness together.  Stretch together.  Do yoga together.

My dear friend and business partner cooks with her daughter every Saturday.  During the week, they look for interesting recipes, make a grocery run, and then get on line and cook together.

So sit with yourself and others.  Try not to judge how you feel, just let yourself feel it and sense it, and see what new or old ideas arise, and trust that you can share them.  Share your thoughts and ideas, keeping advice and demands of others to yourself.

You’ll be surprised at how creative you are how interesting your ideas can be.  Sharing them and doing some new things together may help you get back to yourself and to your loved ones.
I’d love to hear how you are dealing with this time; together we will do more than survive this time, perhaps we’ll grow.