EMDR and Valentine’s Day

It’s Valentine’s Day evening; it’s a weird and hard day for many of us. Here in North Carolina it is cold and wet; my brother in Baltimore is iced in, and my dear friends in the North are getting more snow. And it’s still COVID. Ugh. And yet, it is a good day to reflect on what it means to be loving and loved. And how EMDR can take a part in that, even when we see clients virtually.

Although it may be awkward, performing EMDR virtually, is a good idea. You can do it. Trust that you can, and take the time you need to prepare your client, so both of you are ready.

Here are some steps for getting started:

• In Phase II Preparation, you learned how to prepare your clients for Bi Lateral Stimulation.

• The same is true now. It’s okay to feel awkward and to admit and share those feelings with clients. They probably feel awkward, too.

• Talk about how important it is for both of you to see each other. Take a few minutes. Maybe one of you needs to move a bit, so both of you can see each other. Both of you need to pull up close to your computers. You want your client to be able to see what you are doing. Where you are placing your hands, and how quickly your hands are moving.

• Ask your client to pull up close, too. Tell your clients, you need to be able to see where their hands are and to the best of your ability, the tiny micro-shifts, happening to them. Noticing slight changes to the color of their faces and rates of their breathing is important.

• Show your clients how to tap. We suggest tapping on that soft palate just below your clavicles for resourcing, and tapping on your upper arms for Re-processing.

• When doing resourcing, it is fine to slowly say, “Tap right, left, right, left, etc.” We find it distracting to talk out the taps when Re-processing. When you are ready for Re-processing, say, follow me, and you tap with them, using your hands on your upper arms, and go fast, watching them every second.

• Using one of the on line apps is not recommended.

• Taking the time to talk about this, move your computers, practice tapping, and then tapping with your clients, helps you feel attuned to your client and helps your clients feel attended to and safe.

Being very present with your client takes time and energy. It lets your clients know they matter, which is what Valentines Day and EMDR is all about.